10 Reasons for a Drop in Libido
Low libido is perfectly normal from time to time, given your life circumstances. Your body is a sex machine and like all machines it needs maintenance to operate. When we slack on that maintenance, either by putting too much on our plates or by rejecting opportunities for emotional connection, our sex drive can break down.
If you aren’t feeling horny anymore but you want to have sex, then let’s explore why and how to get horny again.
10 Reasons Why You Don’t Get Horny Anymore
Your whole life can impact your libido level. From mental health challenges to lifestyle factors, hormonal changes to relationship issues, there are a wide variety of reasons why you’re never horny anymore.
Let’s explore all of the reasons why your sexual desire may be on the floor and how to address them.
1. Too Stressed or Tired
When you’re wiped out from daily hassles or just super tired, sex might be the last thing on your mind. It’s like your body is saying, “Nope, not today.”
Stress Response: When you’re stressed, your body goes into “fight or flight” mode, releasing adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones are great for short bursts of energy needed in emergencies, but when they’re constantly flowing, they can reduce your interest in activities that are, well, not about surviving the next few minutes. This includes sex.
Energy Conservation: Think of your body like a smartphone battery. When the charge is low, your phone might go into power-saving mode, shutting down non-essential apps to keep going. Your body does something similar when you’re tired. It conserves energy, and unfortunately, sex is one of the first things it cuts back on.
Physical Effects of Fatigue: Being overly tired can mess with your nervous system, making it harder for your body to experience sexual arousal or reach orgasm. It’s not just about feeling sleepy; it’s about your body not being able to do its thing.
Emotional Disconnect: Fatigue and stress can also make you feel less connected to your partner. If you’re mentally and emotionally exhausted, it’s tough to find the emotional bandwidth to share an intimate moment.
Getting enough rest and managing your stress are key to getting your sex drive back on track. Simple things like ensuring you get enough sleep, taking breaks during a busy day, or finding stress-relief techniques that work for you can help reset your body’s reactions and improve your overall mood—and possibly your interest in sex.
2. Relationship Rough Patches
If things aren’t great with your partner, it can definitely affect how you feel sexually. It’s hard to want to get close when you’re feeling distant.
If you feel more like roommates than lovers, here’s what you can do to fix that:
Talk It Out: Just be real with each other. Sit down and share what’s on your mind like, “Hey, I’ve been feeling kinda distant. Can we figure this out together?” It’s all about being open without pointing fingers.
Hang Out More: Sometimes you just need to hang out to feel connected again. Plan a regular movie night, start a puzzle together, or just chill and chat about your day. Little moments can lead to big changes in how you feel about each other.
Get Some Help: If talking between the two of you feels like walking through a minefield, maybe it’s time to bring in a pro. Seeing a couples therapist isn’t about admitting defeat; it’s about leveling up your relationship skills.
Show Some Love: Don’t underestimate a quick hug, a peck on the cheek, or a sweet text in the middle of the day. These little bits of love can make both of you feel better and closer.
Try New Stuff Together: Shake things up by doing something fun and different. It could be as simple as trying a new restaurant, or maybe something wild like ziplining. New adventures can make you see each other in a new light and spark up some excitement.
By tackling these relationship snags head-on, you can get back to feeling good around each other, which might just make you want to snuggle up a little closer.
Want more tips? Read my guide to making relationships last.
3. Hormones Out of Whack
Sometimes your body’s hormones just aren’t in sync. Whether it’s your sex hormones like testosterone or estrogen, or even your thyroid acting up, it can really mess with your mojo.
Testosterone and Estrogen: Yup, both dudes and ladies need these. When they’re out of whack, your desire for sex might nosedive. Guys need to watch their testosterone levels, and ladies, those estrogen levels can be a wild ride, especially during menopause.
Too Much Thyroid (Hyperthyroidism): Makes you feel all jittery and anxious—definitely not in the mood for love.
Not Enough Thyroid (Hypothyroidism): Leaves you feeling too tired or down to even think about getting busy.
Cortisol Overload: Stress has this annoying habit of pumping out cortisol, which basically tells your sex hormones to take a hike. So, when you’re stressed to the max, your sex drive often hits rock bottom.
It’s totally normal for your hormones to go a little haywire every now and then. But if it’s messing with your life or your happiness, it might be time to chat with a doctor. Getting your lifestyle into gear with some good food, exercise, and chill time can really help get those hormones in line.
If you’re feeling like your sex drive just isn’t what it used to be, reaching out for help is the first step toward regaining your confidence and rediscovering pleasure. Let’s work together to find solutions that reignite your desire and bring joy back into your intimate life. Book a call with me to get started.
xxoo,
Lanae
P.S. I have a few other resources for sexual difficulties that you might be interested in…