If I Hear “What Do You Bring to the Table” One More Time…

How transactional thinking keeps us all from feeling truly seen

Every time I hear someone ask, “What do you bring to the table?” I want to flip the damn thing over, stomp on it, and throw it out the window.

That question has become the go-to mic-drop in dating podcasts and online debates. It’s smug. It’s lazy. And it’s built on a lie.

Let’s talk about it.

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What That Phrase Really Means

When someone asks “What do you bring to the table?”, they’re not actually curious.
They’re setting up a scoreboard.

Translation:

“Convince me you deserve me.”

It implies that love, partnership, and connection can be itemized like a grocery list.
This isn’t two people meeting as equals. It’s one person auditioning for approval.

And that’s why it hits so deep.

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The Real Problem Isn’t the Table. It’s the Math.