The Secret to Repairing Your Relationship
Discover the Power of Embodied Conflict Resolution
Do you know what they don't tell you in the movies? That "happily ever after" is just the beginning of the journey. In real life, you and your partner are going to disappoint each other at some point. TRUST me on this — It's inevitable!
But here's the secret: The magic to a long-lasting, healthy relationship is all about how you repair it after an argument. That's right, it's not about avoiding conflicts altogether, but how you navigate them with respect and compassion.
As part of my work as a sex & relationship coach, I trained in the Somatica Method, which teaches how to live in an embodied, emotional, and erotic connection with your partner. They have a powerful approach to handling conflicts in a healthy way. By approaching conflicts in an embodied way, you can not only resolve the issue at hand but also deepen your connection with your partner.
Here are some tips for handling conflicts in a healthy way (paraphrasing this post you must also read):
If you need to, take a minute to notice how you feel and collect your thoughts. If you have to pause before resuming the conversation, make sure to come back and close the loop.
Stay present. It is so easy to say hurtful things in the heat of the moment, but those mean words stay with your partner. Seriously. Avoid using accusatory language, deflecting, or blaming, and focus on noticing and talking about your feelings instead.
Practice paying attention to what they’re saying AND to what you feel in your body as they speak. Try to FEEL your partner's perspective as you listen.
Acknowledge your patterns - don’t apologize for specific actions but rather acknowledge how you tend to behave. It's an opportunity for self-reflection and growth. You’ll know you’ve “done things right” if your partner responds with what seems like relief (it’s from feeling understood).
Learn from your conflicts and implement changes to do your best to evolve and maybe even prevent similar issues from arising in the future.
That's it! The next time you find yourself in a conflict with your partner, remember these key takeaways and try out the Somatica Repair Process. With time and practice, you'll develop a deeper emotional and erotic connection with your partner, and become more skilled at navigating conflicts in a respectful and compassionate way. And if you need help actually breaking down this process, don't hesitate to reach out to me for sex and relationship coaching.
Cheers to happy, healthy relationships!
xxoo
Lanae
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