What are your turn-ons?
Hitting the Gas Pedal in the Bedroom
Hey there,
So last week, we talked about the Dual Control Model for Sexual Response: basically, you have both brakes and a gas pedal in your mind. If you missed my overview on the brakes, you can read it here.
Once you’ve identified your brakes — and maybe even figured out how to take your foot off of them—you can safely press on the gas pedal, figuratively speaking that is.
Your gas pedal is anything that turns you on.
These are the things that make you interested in the prospect of having sex.
Here are a few that resonate for my clients (and me!):
Appreciation
Spending time to acknowledge something that’s nice about your partner
Connection
Being attracted to some aspect of your partner
Deep, connecting conversation
Sensual music
Feeling desired
Bonding behaviors
Sometimes, the gas pedal is something visually stimulating for you. You see your partner and feel attracted to them. Or it could be an auditory stimulation, like your partner saying something that’s not necessarily directed at you, but still turns you on.
Noticing your own gas and brakes can help you to have more connected moments with your partner and that can lead to better sex. The thing that makes Chocolate After Dark so great, is you can practice removing the brakes and pumping the gas pedal - without any pressure to have sex.
You decide where you want the chocolate to go on your body—and where you don’t. I designed it this way because I know sometimes people have their brakes on because they feel like they don’t have control. One way to help remove the brakes is to have total control over what boundaries you want to set, which is what Chocolate After Dark can help you practice. For instance, in the experience, you could say to your partner: “You can put the paint on my breasts, but not on my nipples.” Stating what you want - and what you don’t want. Very important. And once you have that information from your partner as well, you know where the fun can begin.
So now, I want to hear from you: What gets your gas pedal going? Let me know in the comments below!
If you want some support around loosening your and your partners’ brakes and getting your gas pedals moving, then I encourage you to try Chocolate After Dark.
Sign up for Chocolate After Dark Here
Also, you can buy it now and use it before Valentine’s Day, on Valentine’s Day, and after Valentine’s Day - the choice is up to you!
Happy Exploring!
xxoo,
Lanae