You Start to Die When You Stop Living

"You start to die when you stop living."

I said this to Ragnar, my partner, over dinner. I’m not sure where it came from and when I did a quick Google search, I only found the phrase one other place on the Internet.

The phrase makes me think of a conversation I had with a friend a few years ago (who may or may not have been hitting on me, still TBD).

He was asking me all about my coaching and I was kinda unsure where the convo was going. Then, he asked me:

Well, what do you like? What do you want?

I thought about where I was at in life. With all the health stuff going on with my partner and I, the stuff that happens when you’re getting old, plus for me, working a lot and my partner too—it kinda led to this sad realization. Yes, the kids were gone, but we weren’t having wild sex just because no one’s in the house.

I realized:

Geez, I don’t even know what I want.

This is the same struggle clients come to me with. Even though I felt sad about the lack of clarity, at the same time, realizing where I was at (in the unknown) also felt SUPER relevant to the work I’m doing with others.

I really had to sit and be like:

You know what would be really hot? Appreciation.

I think sometimes in a long-term relationship (certainly in mine) or in a marriage, we can start to take the other person for granted.

This is where I believe in offering appreciations and apologies freely.

Are there things YOU could show your partner some appreciation for, something they did recently? And I know it can be tough - especially if you feel like you’re always the one “doing” things and your partner isn’t recognizing them. But see if there is one thing you can say thank you for.

Not only am I always talking about how Sexual Health Is Health, but I think many relationships are taken for granted.

If you need help in this area or are unsure where to start, you’re not alone. Here are a few things I offer that might support you:

• Create Your Own User’s Manual - this is now available in print and you can order your version here. Even if you’re in a relationship, identifying how “you” work will help you know what you need from your relationship—and ultimately, communicate that to your partner. Get your copy here.

• The Self Love Journal - I designed this journal to help you develop a more positive relationship with yourself. Each day, take a few moments to do the activities written in the journal. These will help you connect with your emotions, thoughts and spiritual self. You can also use the journal to write down goals, reflections and other positive affirmations. By doing this regularly, you will be able to take better care of yourself and that spreads to your loved ones! Get your journal here.

• If you’d like to take a class with me, you can try the Sex Life Reset. Reset your sex life now.

I hope these tips and tools help you live your sex life to the fullest!

xxoo,
Lanae